I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
