I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
