I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
