Whod you bang
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
