Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
