the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
