I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
