I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
