Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
