I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
