I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
