A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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