Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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