Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
