I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
