the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
