Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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