Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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