he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
God I need to hump something, right now.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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