Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
