oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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