another moral hangover. fuck.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
