? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I am naked and annoyed.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
