When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
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