And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
