I wish I could punch you in the face.
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
