i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
