two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
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