Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Randomize
