Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
The power of my boobs compel you
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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