How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
