Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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