I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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