i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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