I hate your face
hell yes lets make some ravioli
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
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