people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
