...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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