Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
