so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
