I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
