Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
