Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
