Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
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