Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
