Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
