i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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