think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
