Whod you bang
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
