We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
