Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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