after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
She's the barista slut.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
