I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Randomize
